shimane_slim

Well. Been a long time. Anyway, lots has happened. I have a new job which sadly means that I am leaving sunny Stoke and going to London. I'm actually leaving tomorrow which is a bit scary and I'm having to face up to the fact that this is my last night at home.

Still, there are good bits. The job sounds fun (Somerset House!) and I live near lots of nice restaurants and a fresh fruit and veg shop which rocks. My new bathroom has parke flooring which makes me happy in a way I can't quite put my finger on and I will be just under an hour away from my girlfriend instead of 3 1/2 hours and £50. Yay!

I've also just made a blue cheese omelette which I found to be good. Try it. Live a little.

I've got a job interview on Tuesday! Finally someone has fallen for me.

However, this does present certain problems. I haven't looked smart for years and years or worn anything close to sensible. So yesterday I went for a haircut. MISTAKE! I thought he would like take a bit off but now I have next to know hair. What's more, he shaved off my sideburns without me asking him too, the rude man. I now look about 8 years old, grr.

I am shortly (I hope) going to be moving house an have come over all mumsy when it has come down to things like choosing furniture. I spent yesterday going around charity shops with my sister buying mismatched crockery and a tea caddy in the shape of a chinese wise man. My favourite though was the collection of coasters I got for 2 pounds depicting various scenes from ancient greece. Yes!

Now all I need to do is get a job...

I've just had an idea for an ace mash up. I lay down the gauntlet to anyone more skilled than me to make it work.

It involves mixing Over and Over by Hot Chip and Over and Over by the Jon Spencer Blues Explosion. To be titled Over and Over and Over and Over.

Yes

Oh yes, I have discovered the motherlode

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UCVAZz864s0

People keep asking me who my celebrity parents are and I don't understand why people have got this figured out to such a degree. I just can't decide! My gf for example has Suggs as her celebrity father and is 100% certain on this.

So, I actually devoted some time to thinking about this and I have come up with at least a celebrity father. I'm actually quite proud. And the winner is... Gary Sinise! He is ace, I've decided. He isn't always fantastic (first series of csi new york, urgh) but can be wonderful (Forrest Gump, the 2nd series of csi new york). I think I would respect him as a father figure. I realised that he was my man when watching csi and it turns out that he secretly plays bass in a jazz band. The look on his face was perfect. Anyway, enough of this crap!

Well yeah, I've been a working man for a bit now and it's kind of great (well the money is ok) but I've realised that it has stopped me doing various things I would otherwise take for granted. Like having a bit of time to write stuff. I keep setting myself deadlines for a first draft of something then constantly revising it. Still, I am confident that I will get something down by next week...

Apart from that, my brain has decided it wants to write songs so I have been thinking of titles. These include "YO Falamo" (named after a student), "Zeus stole my wife" (after a conversation with Seb) and "Tap Tap Counterspell" (which I am slightly ashamed of finding funny).

Anyway, enough of this rubbish! Time to do some writing. Or check out the b3ta newsletter. I'll write later

I've finally got an ipod! I'm a little late on this bandwagon but what the hell. And I have got one because my girlfriend very kindly gave me her old one. But still, I'm excited!

Having never used an ipod before it was all a bit baffling to start with. I had a sudden realisation what being old is going to be like, the confusion, the slight fear of breaking things or spending money without meaning to. Even before I started using it (or her, she is called Boo) I had to replace the battery. At one point the whole thing shut down suddenly and wouldn't turn back on and at that moment I felt like a doctor who has just killed his paitent in some horribly careless way. Still all was well and she was saved thank god.

Anyway, as I type this my first batch of cds is going onto Boo which I am happy about as it took me a long time to work out how to make itunes do anything. I really, really missed the ipod bandwagon. But now, joy, my ipod is being filled with songy goodness all of which seems to have been classed as alternative/punk. In fact, one of my albums itunes gave up on somewhat so while it has most of the track titles some come up as [Untitled] while the bonus track was called, cutely, "Bonus Track! (Radio Ad?)"

anyway, I'm enthralled. Hooray!

Just a quick post really as not much has happened over the last few days. However, two things have suprised me in a pleasing way.

Firstly I got my phone bill and it was very low! I thought I had been ripped off with my new contract but it seems to be working out well.

The second thing is just how lovely the people over at Must...Destroy records are. I brought something from ebay from them (guitar wolf picture vinyl, yeah!) and a couple of sludgefeast albums and they were a) cheap b) were delivered fast and c) they gave me a free cd and put a kiss at the end of their message. Awesome!

I've had a thought. Is the devil really pure evil?

The reason I ask this is that, I think if you really look at it and apply some clear thinking I don't think he really is. By the way, if you want to go with me on this it helps if you believe that Aristotle was right about a couple of things just to warn you.

Anyway, lets start with something the devil is often seen doing, smoking. If we are to believe popular myth the devil smokes a lot. And why not? It's sinful behaviour as it is damaging to us and that is clearly against the word of God. But the devil... actually doesn't have too much to fear from smoking. He's really old and pretty spry so obviously isn't affected by lung cancer so in fact isn't doing himself any harm by doing it. So isn't really sinning.

"But you fool" I hear you cry "the devil encourages other people to smoke so is therefore being sinful". However, God actually does nothing to stop this (if the devil does exist) so must therefore permit this state of affairs in some way. You can argue that God and the devil are in a constant battle but why would they be if God is all powerful and infinite and the devil isn't? God's powers would have to be watered down a lot if he was unable to beat the devil. And if he allowed him to exist wouldn't that be a form of entrapment?

However, let's let the devil exist for the moment and have a look at Aristotle. Aristotle's theory was that to be a person of virtue you had to fulfil your function to the best of your ability. Therefore a good dog would serve it's master though thick and thin and a good human would lead a life of virtue as much as possible. With humans this theory becomes dificult as it is hard to define what virtue is and if it is even our function.

However, with the devil this theory is very simple. The devil's function is plainly, obviously to inflict as much suffering on sinners as possible while also tempting people to sin. The more horrible the better. If we are to believe Christian writing the devil is very good at this, fear him. Fair enough, but when coupled with Aristotle we find that since the devil's function is sin and pain... and being good at your function is the road the virtue... The devil is actually rather misunderstood and just fulfilling his function and leading a life of virtue.

Weirdly this also means that the more people resist sin (thus defying the devil) the less virtue the devil gets since he has failed to fulfil his function. I still reckon Aristotle is pretty much on the money with his theory though and this conflict just makes the idea of the devil even more silly than it is already.

Well done if you have reached this point. Now we have dealt with the heavy stuff I can tell you that I petted a puppy today! A 9 week old white boxer with a black patch on it's eye!

Is this what I have become? Work in any office for any length of time and you start being included in all of the gossip about other departments and I swear without knowing it you come round in the middle of saying something bitchy about a new policy or that woman in the other part of the office who Will Not Stop With That DAMN ANNOYING LAUGH.

It is at this point that you need to take a step back. See the whole thing for the wonderful farce it is and realise that the only thing better than joining in is watching the whole thing unfold for your own entertainment (admittedly it needs prodding sometimes). This approach also frees up a lot of time for you to do useful things like drink tea, make forts out of materials scavenged from around the office and, joy of joys, play with the over sized bubble wrap which comes with new office chairs and things. One of those babies can take my whole weight! They pop like a mother when squeezed and poked with a pen!

It is pleasures such as these which make a day pass quickly, not idle gossip. So sayeth Tom, the office temp. Thank you and goodnight.

I feel a lot happier since my last entry. I've stopped worrying and learned to love the bomb as it were.

Reasons for this lie in a couple of areas. The first is that I have a good weekend coming up with lots of cinema and visits to Manchester planned. Second, the evening I wrote the last entry a light suddenly came on and I started scribbling away furiously at a short film script which has been given some lovely positive feedback. It's called "My name is Elvis" anyway. Lastly, the musical is going well, with another couple more songs almost finished despite the fact we haven't really had time to work on it much recently.

And lastly, questions. Do wasps sleep at night? If not where do they go? Do they party hard back at the nest?

The washing calls, I can't wait for self cleaning clothes to happen.

I have a new and interesting kind of problem to contend with. For the first time in about ten years I have no legitimate thing to worry about or at least I have reached a point of contentment and the things I want to do seem to be within reach. For example, for the first time in ages I'm losing weight, I'm slowly becoming financially solvent, I'm getting fit and am doing weights and I have been seeing my gf at regular intervals. I'm even quite happy in my job and am co-authoring a musical fer christsakes.

So, what could be my problem? Well I feel terrible but I have started to worry about smaller things which would not have even registered previously. Like my carbon footprint. And food miles. And whether I should like electro more than I do. And whether I should like Russian rock-a-billy less than I do. I sometimes even get the same fluttery stomach feeling when considering these questions as I used to when my rent was due to come out of my maxed out bank account. I'm fully aware that this is ridiculous.

I'm hoping that, lacking anything else to give a crap about, part of my brain is a bit addicted to concern so is latching itself onto whatever it can find. I think what my brain needs to realise is that it doesn't have to make an effort all the time so situations don't get worse, as was the case with my living arrangements last year in particular.

Anyway, enough delving into my pysche. I'm sure I'll get over myself eventually.

So, I have a new cause! After forgetting to save Screeches house (and not being able to afford to) I have felt a bit guilty so am trying my hand at a new project. This being setting up some kind of love for Mr Russell Simins, one of the world's greatest drummers with the Blues Explosion and others. Anyway, he set up a message board back in 2000 presumably for people to share the good vibes.

After all this time it has managed to attract 20 members.

I feel this is sad so am encouraging people to join up and spread the blues love. I'm on there already (member number 20) and hopefully will able to drum up a bit of support or at least a conversation.

Yay!

www.russellsimins.com

Gosh, I haven't posted in a little while. News is that I've got a job in an office and have been doing my little wage slavey buisness since then. It is until the end of October or until I find a job in London. It is pretty sweet actually, near my house and pretty well paid. Plus, I've done it before so don't have to think very much.

Of course the problem with jobs is that they do tend to interfere with life. Mostly this means being too tired to go out all the time and live the rockin' life but the last weekend showed that I can still have fun. Much playing dominoes and eating thai food.

So, no in depth discussion of anything today. I'm feeling a bit too distracted what with the NOW sound of rock-a-billy chiming in my ears and the glass of fine, fine whisky by my left hand. And why not? I have finally managed to wring my deposit out of my former estate agent after threatening them with legal action and this has taken a great weight from my mind. Or at least it will be when the cheque actually reaches me. It was posted today (apparently; after all they are lying dogs).

So, after all that I am going to watch Without a Trace. Yay!

I've had a very dull day, should have been doing job application things really but haven't quite felt well enough. I went out last night to the full moon which was great but on hindsight I may not quite have been ready for it. I realised this when I went to my room at about 1 to watch the grand prix and woke up at 5 feeling slightly confused.

Anyway, the house has smelt like sunday all day which has made me very happy. To me the sunday smell is a combination of roast dinner, the wood burning stove and soil and earth as my parents usually leave the doors open and work in the garden for a bit on sundays.

Looking forward to seeing Han's friends soon hopefully, I haven't for ages. Party!

Well, my father got back from Russia last night and due to liquid/airport restrictions he got me a CD rather than the usual bottle of vodka he brings me back. He picked it on the strength of the cover (which a hairy man thrashing an acoustic, bottom picture here http://www.faktor2.ru/diskography.htm) and had no idea what it sounded like. Well! We had a treat in store.

What I have ended up with is Russian electro rap. Russian is a suprisingly good language to rap in despite when being sung sounding like gargling nails. It does have a couple of stonking tunes on though, all things considered. Anyway, if you want a taste go to: http://music.download.com/marselik/3600-8539_32-100414621.html and scroll down a bit. The first track is particularly ace, it's about conscription.

I'm getting much better now, I don't have any kind of fever any more (apart from DISCO fever, obviously) and am having an easier time swallowing. This has led to the discovery of a horrible yet necessary game: What Can I Put Down My Throat Without It Trying to Kill Me?

Yes, all of today, whenever I have felt the need to eat I have had to play Russian Roulette. Pick right and I get energy and happiness. Pick wrong and I get stabbing pains which make me wish for the end to come quickly. Some things are pretty simple like citrus fruit being bad but others totally unexpected.

In the Yes Yes Yes list comes:
Trifle, oddly
Peas
Carrots
Apple Compot, man am I glad I brought about 1000 pots of this stuff back from France. I learnt my lesson though, eat too much and it's like napalm.

NoNoNo, please god not the face:
Chocolate. Was fine for about a minute then felt like all the karmic punishment for all the bad things I ever did being delivered directly to my glands.
Broccoli. This stuff is like cluster bombs.
Jam. Hurts like a mother. Especially horrible when it is tucked in the middle of a nice, painless cream bun.

Anyway, things are going pretty good apart from that. Got rejected for a job but it was one I'd forgotten I'd applied for so no loss. The musical is going well also, I feel a little bad though as the co-writer has off and written a song while I've been ill. I've done bugger all and he's been working.

See y'all

Man, my first entry is going to be rather bittersweet I'm afraid. First the bad stuff: I have tonsillitis and according to my doctor my mouth is "oozing pus". That made me feel great about the situation.

(Brief diversion into good things, while writing that last sentance someone on the football commentary team on BBC radio Stoke just did a Dr Zoidberg impression! Ace!)

Er, back onto the bad things, I had a temperature of 102 this morning which sucked but I'm on lots of drugs now which are numbing me a bit. That reminds me, the last time I was on these particular meds, I think for chicken pox, I watched "Where Eagles Dare" and was so out of touch with reality that I thought it was The Best Film Ever. I might get it out in a bit.

Anyway, the good things. First off, cows listen to the voices of their farmers and end up mimicking them. This means cows moo in regional accents! This pleases me.

Second, Alex Winter aka the blond one from Bill and Ted was in CSI New York last night playing the murderer! If this wasn't great enough, he still has the same hair cut and his first line was "Dude"

Finally, kids TV seems to finally be getting better. I was watching it today (yes, am unemployed and ill) and there were three great shows. Spongebob Squarepants was great, I've not really watched it before and it's wonderful. The second I didn't catch the title of but involved Rik Mayall doing the voice of King Arthur. Finally, there was the glory of "Raven" which is like a modern version of Knightmare but even more camp and involving a man with a forced Scots accent and very greasy hair. Brilliant. The ginger kid went out today.

So, big rambling entry to kick things off. Yeah!